The third clinic was the charm today.
That’s one thing that stinks about moving to a new area and trying to explain to each receptionist that you need your blood drawn for hormone testing, but that your doctor is out of state so you’ll actually just need that blood back now thank you. I’m just gonna go pop it in the mail and hope the USPS guy doesn’t ask me what it is.
I even pulled out the “this is for my fertility treatments and I have to do this today” line on the first two clinics and nada. One told me it was against California state law to give me my own blood back. Really? Don’t tell that to the 3rd clinic…
Anyway, during the blood draw the nurse was extremely nice.
So this is for fertility treatment?
Oh yeah, sometimes it just takes a while, you know?
(So I’m realizing…)
You know, I tried for quite a while to get pregnant before I did.
(Oh awesome, she understands! Kindred spirits!)
Yeah, me and my first husband (red flag!) were together for 5 years and tried but nothing. They told me I had one ovary and it wouldn’t happen. It put a lot of stress on our marriage, you know. He was from a Hispanic family and his mother always asking “where are the children??” So we divorced. Then on my second marriage I didn’t ever use birth control because I didn’t think we could get pregnant and now I have three children!
Oh, wow! I guess its about couple fertility, huh?
So, it took me a minute to figure out her actual point, but I can only conclude it was, “Leave your husband and get pregnant”? Ummm, yeah. Not so encouraging.
There was that other time our lab cleaning lady told me that lovely story about her Indian friend who “came over from India and married a white woman who couldn’t have children” so he left her and had an arranged marriage and was “popping them out so fast” right after they got married. Yes, I shifted nervously in my seat, scratched my arms and tried to change the subject because really, what’s more fun than talking about husbands leaving their worthless-non-procreating wives?! (Just about anything!!)
But I hope those stories suffice all those people who type “husband leaves infertile wife” into the search engine and find this blog. Apparently it happens on occasion, as depressing as it is. If you want some helpful things men have said about infertility, here is something by my husband. He’s a pretty quiet guy on the subject, no matter how much I beg him to share his thoughts. He deals with it differently than I do, there’s no doubt its not as all-consuming for him and obviously his hormones don’t effect the way we discuss things as much, but I do catch glimmers of what is really going on in his head. I’ve come to appreciate his non-emotional side as being the rock that gets me by, although it can be frustrating when I want to say “Man, isn’t it awful that they already got pregnant?” and all he can say is “No. Good for them.” Because really, good for them.
And those are all the stories you’ll find about husbands leaving their infertile wives on this blog.
Maybe we could all say a little prayer for couples coping with this extra stress tonight. Lord knows we all need it.
*Updated to add a little info on getting your blood drawn for PPVI Institute: In Texas I had the most success with Any Lab Test Now. They were amazing at helping me and when I went there I saw at least 3 kits for other women who were doing the hormone panel as well (they even store it for you the whole month!) so I could not recommend them enough. Unfortunately, they don’t have one in California, so here I tried Que.st Diagno.stics and Lab.Corp, who both were not able to do the draw. I finally found success at a local hospital’s outpatient lab and from what other commenters say, that is the most frequent place they have found success as well. I also had to do a draw in a small beach town and randomly had success with the local “for minor emergency clinic”, although that could have been a fluke. I played up the “I’m going to have to drive 2 hours unless you can help me and I can’t have a baby” card hardcore for that one.