I wonder if anyone else feels this way. I’ve been in a funk of not creating lately. At least, that’s one theory I have for feeling so off at the start of the year. Its so easy to consume consume consume on the internet to the point that you feel bloated and saturated with all sorts of random tidbits of useless knowledge. The ease with which I can access all types of information means I can swiftly gorge myself until my eyes hurt I’m sitting at the table with my buttons popped open, feeling fat and lazy and just, completely unproductive. In my haze, its easy to become a consumer and not a creator.
I don’t want to just consume, I want to create. I want to bring something of my own to the table.
Well, duh. Then just create.
Most of last year I think this is what the internet represented to me. Instead of relationships and support like I’ve relied on in the past, it became just a place to feel like I’m being sold something. Apparently I have an addictive personality where its easy for me to just keep clicking until I feel completely overwhelmed at all of the information on the internet that I didn’t know I needed to know! To me, this is the Age of Information Overload.
I feel good when I create, either little things like a new dinner one night or trying to knit a new article of clothing. As much as I love parenting, it seems like one of the hardest parts is that you’re forever creating in half hour increments to keep the little one’s attention and not working on something long term, or at least something that won’t get destroyed by the end of the day. And my internet habits start to mirror that.
Without getting into a full blown discussion on the merits of stay-at-home vs. work outside the home moms (just yet! I’ll save that for later), I have found for me, finding this balance in being able to contribute to a longer-term goal is crucial to my well-being.
So, deciding what I will spend my limited time and energy on creating is one of the things that I’ve been trying to focus on recently. Its taken effort and intention, but I feel like I’m already seeing progress on figuring it out.
This is probably such a no-brainer to people, but I guess it took time for me to realize that hey, if reading mommy and parenting blogs and signing onto Facebook with everyone’s incessant posts of “read this article” and “click on this link of lists you have to see!” are just not relevant or something I care about, then I should really just stop reading them.
Its easy to just follow the flow and be led where others are intentionally trying to lead you, rather than intentionally lead yourself to goal that you have prayerfully discerned.