Thank God!

For Easter!  The beautiful reminder of life beyond the cross, joy beyond the pain.  It all happening for a reason, even if it seems bleak in the meantime.  It being life. The cross.

And something to take my mind off my own failures, because really, as much as I try to make it about myself, its not!  Whew! I can’t handle that type of pressure.

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Anyway, another quick little story.  Today I was reminded of how different I am, even when from the outside it looks like I go to these parenting classes and I hold a beautiful baby boy, who is quickly turning not so baby-ish anymore.  At our little mommy and me/parent ed class this morning a close friend in the class by announced she was pregnant.  It was a crazy response in my heart, the flood of aching/glee/pain/happiness/awe/jealousy mix that only those who’ve been there would quite understand was all in there and I almost started crying because, well that’s what I do, and I was like, “Ok God, this is a good thing!  Let’s rejoice that it goes right!” and having to respond on the spot in person was almost more than I could handle.  But I did! And we all congratulated her.

And then she said “April fools!”.

And I went from all those emotions, back to just one, simple one. 

Anger.

Why the heck would you joke about that?! What about that was funny?

She got us good.  Especially me.

But I quickly concluded (and tried not to be too hard on her, though I told her that was not funny!) that that is a major difference between people who have struggled to get pregnant, and those that get pregnant right away. I would never think to joke about that.  Because that would be the most depressing April Fool’s joke ever. 

“Guess what, I’m pregnant!  Actually I’m not.  Wah wah.”  Goes and cries to yourself. 

Sheesh.

And now, to put you on the spot, would you joke about that?

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11 thoughts on “Thank God!

  1. When I suffered my miscarriage, I felt that same mix of aching/glee/pain/happiness/awe/jealousy that you describe here, and it was so so difficult to work up the necessary words of congratulations to my friends who were having their babies. It took A LOT to even think “congratulations,” and so, the pain of such a “joke” would have been unbearable to me. It still is.

    Even before my little one died, I wouldn’t have taken kindly to such a joke. But now, I wouldn’t let it end with my hurt feelings. I would say something to the joker. I’m glad you did, and for the hurting women out there, I thank you for it.

  2. No. I wouldn’t. It’s not ever a joke. My reaction would’ve been the same as yours. And I would have given a ‘lecture’ about the dignity of the human person, infertility, sub-fertility and uber-fertility. Not funny. I probably would’ve let a few tears fall so all present would remember the pain these types of jokes can cause.

  3. I would so not joke about that! I am glad you enlightened that person! Wow, I probably would have left the room and cried. Why would people joke about that?! Fertility is not a joke.

  4. Hell no. Someone I know, who actually counsels people on the loss of miscarriage announced once on FB that she was carrying twins. And it was a joke. I was just downright pissed.

    I’m glad you said something!!

  5. I’m with everyone above. NOT a funny joke.

    I know exactly what you mean about the “aching/glee/pain/happiness/awe/jealousy mix.” I have my baby. My prayer was answered. And still, every pregnancy announcement carries this mix of feelings. It never leaves you. Infertility changes you forever, even if you overcome it.

  6. the bad April Fools joke for me was a cousin who has left his faith and posted on Facebook that the Easter Sunday service had touched his heart and he was rejoining the church. He later said it was an April Fools joke and… wow. hurtful to his hopeful family.

  7. That is not a joke. But I have to admit that if I was still in my early 20’s and my life was falling into place as I’d planned (get married, have lots of babies) I might not have thought it was that big of a deal. Now I know better.

  8. I know quite a few people who think its funny. I wouldn’t risk ever playing that joke because there would be some who would believe it and then i’d have to spend the rest of the time telling people it wasn’t real. It feels like i already spend too much time telling people i’m not pregnant.
    I have had friends fake their own deaths for april fools day, which is even less funny.
    Especially since my birthday is April Fool’s Day.

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