I couldn’t put him down for his nap today.
After feeding him I just held him in my arms for those extra minutes and just stared at him. Felt his little body next to mine and listened to his breath. My son.
Soaking in this moment of heaven that I ached for for so long.
Long nights and short years, that’s what they say right? And it was a longer night than usual, which makes me fear these short years.
But I can’t live in fear. I waited for these moments and literally drempt about how blissful it would be to hold my child. And these moments are now.
And as I held him just now I literally felt it all melt away.
He doesn’t have the slightest inkling of how he helped heal my heart so. How he’s more than I could have imagined. He’s just an innocent little soul in an adorable package who is learning, through us, of the merciful, loving God who created him.
What a responsibility. I hope I do Him justice.