Slow to process and picture post

I keep starting posts and stopping them when the words don’t come out right.  There don’t seem to be the right words to be able to express what I’m feeling.  There is now this entirely separate person here and I’m responsible for their every care.

Bath time with our Blooming Bath :)

Its unbelievable and humbling.  Its more work than I ever thought I’d be able to joyfully do in a single day, compounded every day for the foreseeable future.  I’ve cried less than I thought I would and I’m amazed my postpartum hormones are so level and keeping me sane.  I never knew it was possible to not sleep more than 4 hours in a row for such an extended period of time (and I hear I’m lucky!).

“Daddy time” is his favorite part of the day

I’m amazed we were trusted with this task.  I’m amazed my body is helping to sustain this little guy.  I feel like I’ve been so slow to process this miracle, from the pregnancy to the birth to the day to day life with this little guy, and all my posts echo the same “I can’t believe this is real” feeling, but it really seems too incredible to have actually gone right for this to be our reality.

It sounds strange, but I didn’t recognize him when he came out.  This was my son?  I had dreamed about our child for so long but I had no idea who he’d be.  He was just an idea.  Except, now he’s not…he’s an actual breathing, burping, pooping, cooing, almost smiling entirely separate person that looks at me with this innocent eyes and says,

Here we go!  Our adventure is just beginning!  What will we do today?

Wow.  Just, wow!

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13 thoughts on “Slow to process and picture post

  1. You all look great! Your echos of surrealness seem to be a common theme in the new mom blogosphere these days. You look wonderful on 4 hours of sleep!

  2. This post makes my heart melt. I am so glad to hear that your post-partum hormones are supporting you… it’s amazing when our bodies actually work like God intended, right?? And he is such a sweet, innocent little cutie! Keep enjoying and processing this time… it’s still an “idea” for me even though I know in my head we just have 3 months left.

  3. My babies are never completely tangible until they are in my arms. Even then, the bond hasn’t been completely instant but needed to grow. I really worry about how that is going to be with this pregnancy.

    Also, I love that blooming bath. I saw it on Pinterest a while ago – the cuteness probably prompted me to want to get pregnant again. Do you like it?

    • I hear you on the bond not being ‘instant’. that was definitely the case with me too. I do like the blooming bath, just make sure that you have a big enough sink for it! we only have two sinks in the house it only fits in the kitchen one, which means he only gets a bath if the kitchen is clean :P

    • haha! i got four hours three times and every time was after a horrible night’s sleep and a couple hours of playtime + topping off with lots o’ breast milk! but it could have been totally random too :)

  4. I love this post on so many levels! Yay for blooming bathtub pictures! I was wondering when we’d get to see that beauty! What kind of sling/baby wrap do you have? I’m thinking I may need to buy one and am looking for suggestions…

    • Ok, so I have a few carriers because I got a few on craigslist and another from my cousin. I have a moby and a balboa ring sling, a non-adjustable market sling, and then I bought myself an Ergo. I HIGHLY recommend the Ergo. Its bulkier and expensive but its soo comfy on my (hurting back) and can be used with a newborn if you get the insert up to a 2 year old and you can wear it front to back. I really like the ring sling for around the house, it calms Sam down and eventually he falls asleep as I’m puttering around the house. I got the moby too and while I like it, it lacks a little practicality since its hard to get him in and out, but once he’s in there he’s very secure. Maybe as he gets older it will be easier? Ok, hope that helps!

  5. I agree … its so “weird” to actually “see” the baby you’ve dreamed of. To me, they look nothing like what I pictured … but I’m not sure that I “pictured” anyone specific. I don’t know if that makes sense. But you are right. You are getting to know him. :-)
    I’m going to check out that Blooming Bath …. it looks so cool!

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