Since the birth

I realized today when my husband and I went out to lunch after Sam’s hearing test that I had no concept of time.  Its almost the end of May!  Already I feel like I’m measuring time in how old he is (weeks, months, etc.) since that was such a pivotal change for us.  I picked up a coupon that expired 5/15/12 today and stared at it for a few minutes trying to figure out if it was still good!  Time hasn’t moved this quickly/strangely in many years and its nice to have such a distraction to not care about what day it is.  So, hence the title of this post!

So some good news and updates first, Samuel can hear!  I love that we needed a test to tell us that since at this point we’d pretty much figured that one out since he reacts to my voice, so maybe it would have been more useful during those first few days of life but, oh well.  In other Sam news, he’s growing in all directions well and I think he’s at least 9.5 lbs and was 95% on height at his two week appointment.  He really likes lifting his head and moving it from side to side, so he has a lot of fun with tummy time already.  His eyes still look blueish and I can get glimpses of his dimples when he smiles after he farts :)  No intentional smiles yet but I’m hoping for some soon!  He gets really cranky when he has gas though and will almost scream until he audibly fills up his diaper.  Poor guy, there’s nothing we can do to help him either :(  Other than that he has a content personality so if he’s crying he likely has gas.  Narrows it down quite a bit and when he’s calm he’ll just stare outside or at random points in the room.  I really wonder what’s going through his baby brain…

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We ran into our doctor on the way out of the hospital today and she was really excited to see us and meet him.  She was so supportive of our home birth that it was really great to see her excited about meeting him as well.  We’re only doing the 6 week follow up with the midwife (as opposed to doubling up like we did for almost every other appointment during the pregnancy) since I’m pretty sure the doctor visit is just to prescribe birth control and it will be hard to get a sitter for Sam for me to go to that.  Its nice to have such a great relationship with her though that I know I can go to her if I have any other issues!

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My healing is going well, in case any one is interested.  As crazy as I felt after the birth I would never have thought I would feel as good as I did a week later.  Its amazing to realize that despite all evidence contrary and what it took to get pregnant, our bodies are made for birth and to heal from birth.  This has been one of the most reassuring things, that I don’t have control over it but my body finally knows what to do.  At now almost 4 weeks later I can go on walks around the neighborhood and more, although I’m taking it easy right now since I think I have a plugged milk duct and am making sure it doesn’t go to infection (looks good so far).  Anyways, our bodies are amazing and continue to surprise me.  I guess its time I give it credit after bashing it for the last few years :( 

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Someone in the family sent me a congratulatory card yesterday with good intentions I’m sure, but with a line that upset me so much I can’t believe someone in our family would write it!  Ok, maybe I can believe it a little bit. 

I love Samuel.  I know he’s the baby we were supposed to get precisely because he’s the baby that came to us when God wanted him too.  I didn’t care if he was a boy or a girl and was excited about both possibilities, although part of me was a teensy bit more excited at the thought of his family gaining another girl :)  My husband’s family can have a little, well machismo if that’s what you call it. Maybe sexist is the more appropriate but less diplomatic way of putting it.

For the longest time no one in his family could remember that in addition to Mike, I was also getting my PhD.  I seriously think that when they came in for our graduation they thought I was getting a Master’s.  For the several years while we were dating/married they would repeatedly ask me what it was that I did.  (I’m in grad school too!).  A few months after graduation when we were looking at pictures, Mike’s mom was bragging to her friends that Mike wrote “a whole book” for his degree and “Alison, can you believe he wrote a whole book?” (the thesis, not an actual book)  Um, yes I can believe it because I wrote one also.  Not only that but I actually wrote two!  Ok, I promise that’s not me being a brat, but its like it just continuously escaped them that girls could do that sort of thing also.  I have other example scenarios but I’ll just stop at those to not complain too much :)

Anyway, so in the card read the handwritten line: “Congrats on your baby and a boy on the first try! Very lucky”  Really?  So many things wrong with that sentence, probably “first try” bugged me the most.  Oh honey that was NOT our “first try”. And I’m sure the odds are about 50% so why is that lucky?  Please, be more clear.  Maybe its all the Henry the VIIIth going through my head but that seems like a very antiquated view that OK, maybe I can see people answering some awkward questions in the spur of the moment, but to put thought into it enough to put it in a card and then send it to us?

I guess I should just be happy the our baby was acknowledged.  But seriously, the next person who says something like that to me is going to get an earful!

 

Ok, those are enough random thoughts for now :)

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14 thoughts on “Since the birth

  1. Oh wow, what a comment to put in a letter!! Ack! Especially within the context of said family history! It kind of reminds me of the “Well, you have a boy and a girl, now you must be done!” comment that gets thrown around all the time.

    I’ve had a few comments that it’s “great” to have a boy first to be a big brother” (I hope!), but it’s mostly just people making conversation (I mean really, we all know I’d be equally excited about a girl and in our fam, girls are in short supply :)). I did feel badly though when a comment like this was made in front of a cousin who has 3 girls and whose hubby has been longing for a boy. But yeah, nothing I can complain about really.

  2. That is a strange card. Hopefully one day you will laugh at the crazy nonsensical statements. Congrats on your baby!

    As a side note, I saw that you still “read” my blog. Hopefully the joy of motherhood will keep you writing, while for me it has gotten me turned off from most internet activities. Maybe I will update soon…with Maria milestones or all the HHS madness ;-)

  3. That comment burns ME up, and it really shouldn’t because it wasn’t at me. But, I got really annoyed that it seemed everyone was disappointed with the fact that each of our first three children was a girl. I mean, really. And then, when we found out #4 was a boy, everyone was all, “Ohhh, you FINALLY got your BOY!!!!” OMGoodness, I couldn’t believe how people could be. Then when #5 was a boy, we got comments like, “See? Craig could do it!” Ummmm, what is THAT supposed to mean? So anyway, I think people just don’t realize how their words really sound.

    So glad everything is going so well!

  4. I hear you on no concept of time…or at least little concept. I keep having to look at the calendar multiple times a day and reminding myself of the day of the week or date if I want to remember.

    We had R’s hearing test done that 1st or 2nd day in the hospital, so maybe that’s when they usually do it, but since you had a home birth, yours was done later? Just a thought.

    Also, have you tried gas drops for Samuel’s gassiness? We’ve been using them at every or every other feeding (the pediatrician said that’s ok), and they’ve really cut down the gassiness to almost nothing now.

    • Even after this post I didn’t realize it was the 22nd! And yeah, should have clarifies on the hearing test, when we went in to see the pediatrician on day four of his life (due to the weekend) he hearing test people were gone since we arrived around lunchtime, so this was the earliest we could reschedule. We still did it since it was offered but still seemed a little funny at this point!

  5. We use the drops too– made for a happy baby!

    We got that kind of comment too, except it was “well, maybe next time you’ll have a boy!” … Thanks, guys. My girl is awesome. I love coming from such a male-centric family sometimes.

  6. Seriously that is tacky beyond tacky. And, it reminds me of my husband’s’ “family” that would not acknowledge that I was working 2 jobs and going to grad school full time…for years and years and have said so many tacky and awful things to us over the years it has been hard to forgive them and move on with regular mode of being grateful.

    I wanted to comment more but my two year old is not letting me right now!!

  7. I still can’t figure out what month it is! After being off work for 6 weeks, I still write the date as 3/25 … because I was gone for all of April and half of May. LOL oh well. It’s a great reason to be so “out of it.”
    I’m just shaking my head at the crappy handwritten note to you. Do people re-read what they write before they send things? I sure do. Ugh. I don’t know why people want boys first … there is no “perfect” order of kids … boy, girl, boy, girl … duh! Who do they think they are?
    I’m stealing the info on the gas drops. I think someone said it to me once … and I didn’t retain that info at all! :-)
    Hoping for a picture of your little Samuel again soon! :-)

  8. Another thing that supposedly helps with the gas is gripe water. Pushing their legs against their belly (not sure how to describe) does help push out the gas so they dont’ have to suffer for so long. Noel showed me that trick. It really works!
    Sorry about the card. I guess people are going to say dumb stuff no matter what. You have heard my rants about it so you know I can relate! But seriously… why are people so weird about gender?

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