We had our first Southern California infertility/miscarriage/prayer support group meeting about two weeks ago.  Only a few couples showed up the actual event and so it turned really informal, which was probably good for ‘bonding’?  A few others  emailed/called to say that they were interested but had scheduling conflicts.  We’re planning another one for early March…hopefully we can get a few more people out of the woodwork.  So, if you’re reading this and you’re a lurker, please email me to find out more information!  We’re all super cool and non-threatening, I promise!

I wonder what my role will be in this group going forward, I do.  I wonder how my larger belly at the next meeting will be perceived but I hope I can just remain humble enough to listen and support others and not be a cause of pain, I don’t know.  I just know that I’m called to this ministry now and to help organize something that badly needs it in this part of the country.  Its painful to hear of women suffering multiple miscarriages and not having any support from their churches…hopefully we can provide some relief and support.

So this and NFP seems where I’m called right now, only we’re doing less on the NFP front.  I hope to schedule an information session in March also at our parish.  We are helping with RCIA but are trying to obeserve and make suggestions instead of going in and just changing their classes.  We are both serving as sponsors for confirmandi, and I THOUGHT we would be ending on Easter, which would be several weeks before our due date, but they changed the weeks this year with the bishop and we’re now supposed to be at the downtown cathedral a few days before our due date!  A little nuts but we have ‘subs’ ready in case the baby comes early.

We’re also serving on a panel for the high school confirmation class “vocations and discernment” talk in a few weeks (although, it was suggested that another couple “with children and experience parenting” serve also since we didn’t know anything about that…have to admit that comment ruffled my feathers a bit, but I’m sure the old man who suggested it didn’t mean any harm).  If any one has any idea about what things to say to high schoolers or any good youtube clips we can show, do share!  I’m a little unfamiliar with this age group but we’re trying…hope the Holy Spirit gives us something intelligent to say!

On the baby front, I’m growing away…a little too much says my doctor :(  But I can feel a moving, kicking, squirming little one in there all throughout the day so as long as I’m eating healthy I’m trying not to listen to my doctor and ignore the numbers. I would not step on that scale if they let me.  Seriously, I knew I was gaining a lot but I think there should be a warning button and/or personality test that the doctor’s take to see how much anxiety telling a given pregnancy woman they’re gaining too much weight will cause. I clearly have a perfectionist streak in the sense that if a medical professional tells me I’m hurting my baby, I will do what I can to not hurt my baby.  It would just help to know that their advice is reasonable.  And if its not, that also makes me think, what am I doing in this office again listening to you?  In all reality, I’m at most 5 lbs over the recommended weight at this point.  I hardly think that’s enough to scare a pregnant woman about and tell her to watch her calories.  Ok, no more weight talk…

Our birth classes are going well and I even bought some things for the baby the other week.  Pretty much the only unisex onesies I could find at the discount store and I just picked some slings  on Craigslist today.  What a steal!

The cashier said something sweet the other week, she asked if I knew the sex of the baby.  I’m always reluctant to answer that question because of course its a personal decision and a great majority of our friends/family seem actually upset at the fact that we didn’t find out.  When I told her that we didn’t know, she said something along the lines of “Oh, good for you!  That’s the last real surprise we have on this Earth so that’s just great.”   So I thanked her for being so nice about it, although I think her statement was a complete exaggeration.  It was nice to have someone support one of the first decisions we’ve made for parenting this child.  But the last great surprise?  Will a meteor come and kill us all?  What will the toy in my kinder egg be?…Maybe the last surprise that we can find out the truth to but choose not to.  I think I would have loved to been given the option of asking “God, am I going to have children?” and have a definitive answer.  I probably would have taken that answer in a heartbeat.  So, in a way I think not finding out the gender is my way of not being greedy, if you can even call it that.  I said that’s all I needed and I have my answer now, so now I just have to be patient and wait for it to get here.

And I go to Houston for a baby shower this weekend.  Beyond thrilled to be going back to Texas and to see my friends and then for a baby shower?  Oh man, I’m in Alison-heaven.  Trying to savor every minute!

7 thoughts on “Ongoings

  1. My appointment at about 4 or 5 months I gained 7 pounds in a month and the doc commented and told me I needed to watch it. I almost cried. Then at the next appointment I’d gained 5 pounds or something and the nurse said something and I told her something along the lines of I dont want to hear it and we won’t be talking about my weight anymore.

    She made a note in the chart. They didn’t bother me about it again.

    Except at month 8 when I didn’t gain any weight and they were worried about that. I think babies in utero, same as babies in real life, grow at different rates.

    And I only gained 35 pounds over all, and had lost it all by about ten months post partum. You’re doing great. Tell them to leave you alone. For lean people in real life the weight isn’t that big of an issue. Especially if you pass your blood glucose test.

  2. Girl….when do you have time to work or sleep? You are busy, busy! And I cannot believe you have gained too much weight…seriously? What’s with yours and Hebrews doctors?? My OB said she’d rather have me gain more weight (28-40 pounds) than not enough because with too much weight, she doesn’t have to worry about low birth weight babies. Have fun at the baby shower this weekend! We’re heading out of town next weekend for one…fun, fun.

  3. Sometimes I don’t understand why doctors don’t always look at the skinny girls and realize that we have room to gain a few extra pounds. I mean, if you gained 5 lbs prior to getting pregnant you wouldn’t have been anywhere near overweight – so what does 5 extra pounds now that you are pregnant matter? I gained 43 with MC and I don’t remember my doctor ever saying a word. The second trimester was the worst though; it just piled right on.

    • I think the work you are doing is so great!! NFP, the youth vocation stuff, and the prayer support group are all such wonderful things! And who cares about the numbers…I have already gained 27 lbs and I had a little extra to begin with anyway…I’m trying to focus on eating better and moving more…I think as long as you do that, don’t sweat the rest. I swear I will be up 50 lbs by the time this kid is born!! Oh well! Long as the baby is healthy I don’t care.

      We didn’t find out either, and I’d say the reaction has been generally positive. My BF, on the other hand, DID find out, and had people criticize her for finding out. I guess people will just be judgemental whatever you do! Who cares about them anyway. Do what you want. :) I think it’s about time for another bump pic!

  4. First, like everyone else said, don’t let the “weight worriers” take away your pregnancy joy. Does anyone ever measure up perfectly? (Ummm, no. IF has taught me that!)

    Also, I think it’s great that you’re still putting together the IF/miscarriage support group.

  5. Are you from Texas and now living in Southern California? Me too!

    We didn’t find out the sex of our daughter either; it was a pretty cool surprise finding out when she was born and I loved doing it that way. Actually, the moment she was born, I totally forget that we didn’t know the sex and was just so amazed that a baby was laying on my chest; someone else had to remind DH and I to look. :)

    I’m sorry that you’re feeling that some people are disappointed that you don’t know the sex. To be honest though, a lot of new parenthood is like that and people will pressure you to do things their way – so good for you for already standing up for your own decisions!

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