I’ve realized that I rarely write in my blog when I’m really happy. It is not my impulse to write when I’m happy (although I occasionally do get it) but rather, just enjoy the moment of being happy. Usually I finally get around to writing something after I’ve had a thought in my mind so long that won’t go away and I just need to work through it in order to 1) get it out so it will stop bothering me or 2) to figure out why I am feeling a certain way. Negative or bothersome thoughts are the ones that make it out more easily, because I really want to stop thinking about them. Happy, fun thoughts I want to keep around so I don’t have the same impulse to “get them out already” on my blog. I realize this may skew my writings to make me seem more negative than I am in reality. I’m really a pretty happy, goofy person! I know that’s convincing if I have to tell you. I’ve noticed that I’ve done this all my life in diaries too: write more when I’m upset.
Apparently, being unsettled is my muse.
Anyways, I know this will be hard to change, but I guess its good I recognize it. I hate the idea of putting only negativity out into the internets and although that has been my tendency, especially as I work through issues relating to my sub-feritlity, I’m going to try to balance it is a little better.
Starting with…more knitting projects! I’ve made a couple more things I hope to have pictures up of soon. And fortunately for me it was cold enough recently to actually wear them!