On goaltending

Thank you for your kind comments.  A long Saturday morning Skype conversation with the hubs averted the derailment of the sanity train – at least this time!  [Note to self that not exercising for 3 weeks may also not be good for my mental health.] In case it ever appears that I have it all together, let it be known that I don’t.

I did want to share a funny story.  This weekend, while I was holding back tears after a friend asked if we stopped trying – because if we’re not pregnant by now we must have stopped, right? – and then quickly changed the subject as if the question had never been asked when I answered that yes, we were still trying (maybe I just imagined the whole thing?),  my husband was answering his own questions in Mexico and with way more pizazz!

I don’t know all the details of the situation, but he was at dinner with other people in the program and there was a conversation about kids.  Everyone was chiming in with their “We want 1.5 kids” when my husband responded “Oh yes, we want an army” – an answer that he likes to give because, well he would welcome an army of children and he enjoys seeing people’s reactions who have just professed to have a fear of children.  He can be obnoxious like that, but he likes to answer with humor rather than preaching.  Of course, the response, as always is “Well, what about Alison though…does she want that?” because as we know, all women hate children.  “Of course she does.”  And then came the next question,

“So then, are you guys going to pull the goalie?”

At which point in the Skype conversation, I started hysterically laughing.

Apparently my husband responded in his gangster wanna-be way, “Oh, the goalie’s been done pulled!”

Have you heard that saying before?  Pulling the goalie?  Really?  Hilarious.

I couldn’t help but think later that that phrase isn’t very accurate for NFP couples because, well, there was never really a goalie to begin with.  So I started brainstorming phrases to respond to next time people ask if we “pulled the goalie”.

–  The goalie didn’t even get to practice with the team!

–  The goalie never even showed up to the game!

–  You guys play with a goalie?

–  What’s a goalie?

–  Anyone who uses their hands is cheating.

–  We don’t play with a goalie, our offense is that good.


Ok, that’s all I got.  Perhaps I have taken this analogy too far.


…or maybe I didn’t take it far enough!  Got any others?

12 thoughts on “On goaltending

  1. This is great! I am going to tell these to my husband, I think he will get a kick out of them. I am sorry for the downer of a weekend, but I am glad that your DH was able to restore your sanity. Oh, on a random topic – Leila is also a mastermind! Why doesn’t that surprise me, you both are super smart, holy, and can make sense of so many things that cause me some confusion. I am glad to know you both – well, er…in an online sort of way I guess. I hope this week goes better.

    • hah! good question! I think its just anything obstructing the path of conception…so…I imagine it can be any variety of things. Someone correct me if I’m wrong!

  2. I have to de-lurk, because this is too funny!
    first, i have to admit that it took me a while to understand what a “goalie” meant, but it wasnt until i read your come-backs that i understood.
    speaking of your come-backs my absolute favorite is your last one ” We dont play with a goalie, our offense is that good!”. GENIOUS!
    i may have to borrow that when people give us the side-eye after they find out we use NFP! LOL!

    forgive me for not commenting much, but please know that i pray the novena to Saints Anne & Joachim for my best friend (who is also suffering with subfertility) i also include you.

    God bless.

  3. Haha! That is too funny! I have never heard that one before. Unlovely you responses though!

    My dh loved to try to come up with strange comebacks to the “when are you two going to have a baby” question. The funniest one he came up with was that we had not decided to consummate the married yet. We had been married for 3 1/2 years at this point. The look on that poor guys face was priceless! I think he left very confused!

  4. Hello, I found your site from Leila’s site. My husband and I are long ago ex-(thank God)-graduate students. I still have nightmares. :-)

    Your post is so funny. Where do people come up with this stuff??? I tried to imagine what my husband would say. Probably, “No third-parties in our bedroom.”

  5. I just came across this post and had to comment – because I too heard a similar comment recently. On celebrating our 5th anniversary, the best man from our wedding said to my husband, “Hope you slip one past the goalie this time.” Of course when my husband told me this, I laughed and laughed. My response was something along the lines of already having an open net, but I love your responses.

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