These past few days have been hectic:  finishing up the experiments needed for my paper before I leave lab for several weeks, getting things settled with my adviser, family in town, and packing up/cleaning/prepping our house for our move/renter.

In packing up my house, I have come across a few things that don’t belong.  I haven’t told anyone about them and to be honest, I guess its embarrassing.  I had such presumptions about how this past year would go and to be honest, moving to Mexico wasn’t really on the list.  As much fun as it will be, I’ve done the living abroad thing.  I’ve been fortunate enough to travel.  I was ready for the next phase in life.

So ready, in fact, that as I was packing up my closet I found the two pairs of “larger jeans” and the one maternity shirt that I bought last fall on super sale at Ross.  I remember what my husband said when I brought them home that day.

“I bought jeans that are too big for me today!”

(not getting it)  “Why’d you do that?  Now you’re just going to have to return them.”

“No…I purposely did that…you know, for when I get pregnant.  I’ll probably grow out of my pants really fast.” (So fast that I won’t have time to go to the store?  Umm, yeah…)

“Isn’t that a bit…presumptuous?  You’re not even pregnant yet”

Turns out yes.  Yes, it was.

But that’s not all.  After month two, I also went out and bought one of these.  To keep hope alive, you know.

Presumptuous sparkling apple cider

After all, you can’t toast with champagne once you find out you’re pregnant, you know!  And the thing is, that’s actually the second bottle I had bought.  Around month four, I went out and had to buy another after I popped it open for two pregnant girls who attended a bridal shower I hosted.

So, I’m going to open this sucker today, in celebration of MOVING and LIFE and all that good stuff.  And I don’t make presumptions like that anymore.  I buy all my clothes to fit and flatter my figure now.  My hope doesn’t manifest itself in physical signs like that anymore.

Ahh, presumptions.

Am I the only one who did something like this or do you have your own presumptions that you made?  I promise I won’t make fun of you.


13 thoughts on “Presumptions

  1. I will admit that it sounds like something I would do. Like, buy a baby toy before I’m even pregnant. I haven’t done that yet though…

    That is one thing I’ve always struggled with, planning for the future without even knowing how it will turn out. Always looking for tomorrow.

    I’m trying to do a better job of just enjoying the moment. No more worrying about what tomorrow will hold and how life will be. Because let’s face it, no matter how much I think about it, I still won’t know how it will turn out.

  2. It’s comforting to hear that you did these things because I ALMOST did. I looked into maternity clothes that would fit extra-tall people (as I am an extra-tall person), but since I didn’t find any, I didn’t buy any. Good thing. I did purchase a few roomy baby-doll tops, though. It’s soooo painful to look at them now. After about a year of non-pregnancy, I finally hid them in a closet so I wouldn’t have to see them any more. I also took prenatal vitamins for about a year (to prepare for pregnancy) but finally switched to fertility-enhancing ones when I realized there was no point.

    Around that time I also got my first pair of skinny jeans. Like you, I finally said, “Screw it. I’m not going to prepare for some uncertain future that may never arrive. I’m going to enjoy the way I look NOW.” I feel your pain completely.

  3. Yes. I did some of those things. I bought a few baby items on a super sale when we had only been married for a month (and weren’t even “trying” yet!). Then when I got pregnant two months later, I ran out and bought several maternity items when I was about six weeks. Then I miscarried and had to have my husband “bury the evidence” in a box labeled baby, which then sat under a blanket in our basement for the next 13 months until I got pregnant again. Funny enough, this time around I didn’t even like the maternity items I had bought the year before! Talk about presumption!

    I’m glad you’re going to enjoy the sparkling cider and toast LIFE, it deserves to be toasted! Good luck with your packing!

  4. A couple months before we got married, I bought a couple of baby things to give to my husband as a present to announce when we got pregnant. Well, when it finally happened three years later, I had no idea where the bag had disappeared to after we moved and rearranged stuff. We weren’t even home when we found out about the pregnancy, we were at his parents’ house. My husband thankfully had seen the bag and asked if it was for him so I was able to give it to him.

  5. I’ve read your blog for a while, but I never commented before. I too am guilty of this presumption. (glad I’m not the only one!) I have two pair of maternity pants and a shirt–all bought before we started TTC. They were such a good deal. I couldn’t pass them up. ;) Now they’re buried in the closet. I do still keep an eye out for clothes that might allow a little extra room (like skirts with elastic waistbands) but I only buy them if they look okay on me NOW. Oh, and I have a glider with footstool that the neighbors were getting rid of one day. I just need to make a new cover for it so it doesn’t look so nursery-ish…I plan to use it regardless of if/when a baby arrives.

  6. I planned a “pre-baby” trip. It was all about getting it in before the third trimester and right after my first trimester. I thought, okay, if we go I’ll only be 19 weeks and should be showing too much.

    HA! I didn’t get pregnant until a year later, almost to the day.

    Are you taking folic acid? I would, even if it takes a while. Because you need months of that stuff stored in your system to prevent issues.

  7. When DH and I were engaged, we bought booties, ducks that go around the ankles, bib, sippie cup, newborn hat that were stuffed away in a box for years…..Presumptious, no, I do not think so…..Am I glad we have that stuff now. Yes, because somehow we might have gained a sliver of innocence we once started out with….. ;)

  8. I love this post. I think I lacked hope to buy baby items ahead of time. But, we did put our life on hold and never moved from where we lived because we thought we would never overcome recurrent miscarriage. The silver lining, if you will is: housing prices are now good, we might even be able to buy something of our own. A reality I thought would never, ever happen. Something of our own, and a child living in it!

    It’s so hard to live for life, plan for life and struggle with the pain and unknown of IF. It’s torture on Earth.

    Do you know Eloisa? She is a Catholic Ifer who lives in Mexico. I will be praying for you as you prepare to move oversees. What a sacrifice this sounds like. Is it job related?

  9. I stopped doing that years ago. I think I was a teenager. I don’t even remember what it was that disappointed me. Perhaps I’ve blocked it from memory. But apparently, the disappointment was enough to make me never do it again. I pretty much live in the moment all the time. I don’t make plans. I don’t have itineraries. Maybe I’m immature. I’m ok w/ that for now.

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