I just read a super, super good article that I had to share immediately. More concisely written than I could have ever done. She hits the nail on the head with the same hammer that hit me on the head about 4 years ago (did that even make sense? At least it provided an interesting mental picture!).
It has never been about “it” being or not being a baby. Everyone knows its a baby. The difference is in the lists. Here’s a snippet, but I encourage you to go read the whole article here.
It was then that I could finally articulate the source of the anger I’d felt all these years. In every society, there are two critical lists: acceptable conditions for having a baby, and acceptable conditions for having sex. From time immemorial, the one thing that almost every society had in common is that their two lists matched up. It was only with the widespread acceptance of contraception in the middle of the 20th century, creating an upheaval in the public psyche in which sex and babies no longer went hand-in-hand, that the two lists began to diverge. And now, in 21st-century America, they look something like this:Conditions under which it is acceptable to have sex:
- If you’re in a stable relationship
- If you feel emotionally ready
- If you’re free of sexually transmitted diseases
- If you have access to contraceptionConditions under which it is acceptable to have a baby:
- If you can afford it
- If you’ve finished your education
- If you feel emotionally ready to parent a child
- If your partner would make a good parent
- If you’re ready for all the lifestyle changes that would be involved with parenthoodAs long as those two lists do not match, we will live in a culture where abortion is common and where women are at war with their own bodies.