Downside to Blogging

Few people may know this, but when I first had the idea to start a blog my husband was pretty against it.  He was under the impression that if I started a blog in which I shared some of my innermost thoughts then I would have no reason to talk to him anymore (I also had my reservations).  We talked about things I would and would not include and eventually both came to the realization that following our guidelines, the advantages of me writing on here outweigh the disadvantages.  One main this is that we always talk about what I’m going to write before I write it.  He’s always my first reviewer.

This post included!

Fast forward to this past weekend, on the plane ride to California for Thanksgiving and what movie is playing?  No other than Julie and Julia, the movie about the blogger that attempts to make all of Julia Child’s 500-some odd recipes in a year (while getting a book deal and a movie in the process).  My husband tuned in just in time to see the SPOILER ALERT scene where she fights with her husband.  “OOHhh this IS the perfect movie for us to watch!” he said (referring to his initial hypothesis that sharing too many personal thoughts on the web without consulting your husband will eventually tear a couple apart).  The end of the movie came and went, leaving us wondering what exactly it was supposed to be about (cooking?  following your dreams?  being a blogger and making money?) and just generally  unimpressed.

I hadn’t thought much of it until today when in (another) fit of procrastination, I thought, “Hey, why don’t I look up that blog of her’s?”  So, I did and GUESS WHAT I FOUND?


This scathing review of her second book, Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat and Obsession, tells it like it is (and rather harshly).  Apparently her second book just came out like, yesterday, and its all about how she had an affair the year after the first book came out.  It was originally supposed to come out this past August with the movie, but the producer (rightly) anticipated the backlash from the audience that they would be significantly less likely to “root for Julie” in the movie and for her continued success at making all the recipes if they knew she was just a power/fame hungry, lying writer and that her angelically portrayed husband eventually gets screwed over.  Although her reasons for wanting to start the blog in the first place were rather transparently hidden (it appears as though she just wants to be famous like her more successful friend and uses the Julia Child idea as a starting block) apparently her quest for fame eventually led her to cheat on her husband and compare it to meat for the premise of a second book too.  At least that’s what the review asserts.  Odd, huh?

So, I guess Julia Child had a reason to dislike her (as the movie suggests).  Julia Child could apparently smell a rat.  And in the words of my husband:  Go Team Julia!


5 thoughts on “Downside to Blogging

  1. Reading this makes me glad that I never jumped on the Julie & Julia bandwagon. Sad.

    But I am a little curious about why so many husbands are concerned about their wives’ blogs. Is it because they don’t read blogs, so it is something strange and uncertain?

    My husband is fine with me blogging much more personally than I am. And I almost laughed at your line about a “blog in which I shared some of my innermost thoughts then I would have no reason to talk to him anymore.” I am constantly running to my husband to get him to read this or that from blogs I read. He would almost certainly like it if I could spill some thoughts online and not make him consider them. Oh well, we don’t watch TV much, so blogs fill that void in what I hope is a slightly more healthy way.

    Anyway, I don’t think that blogging is inherently related to what you’ve described as the Julie issue. If one wants power and doesn’t care about marriage, one will probably find a way to ruin one’s marriage. :-(

  2. Wow, that certainly is interesting. I’m impressed you talk over each post with your husband first. I am in Rae’s camp in that I partly started my blog so my motor mouth could be quiet every once in a while when my husband comes home. Oh we certainly talk about at least most of the topic I write, but not always. In any case, I’m not trying to do some crazy amount of cooking or blogging so I think I will stay safely away from the craziness of Julie’s blog drama

  3. Oh how disappointing! I am glad you shared that though.

    My blog is also somewhat of a reprieve for my husband. I can talk about the same stuff over and over and over again, but he gets a bit tired of it. He does worry a bit that I’ll get too personal, but that’s a difference in our personalities as it is – I’ll tell anyone anything, while he’s much more private! So I try to remember that, particularly if I’m writing about him.

    Also, while this may be wrong, I’ve really come to feel like I’m just talking with my girlfriends when I blog. I’ve realized how important it is to talk things over with your girlfriends, and since I don’t really have any out here, blogging is somewhat filling that void. I know it shouldn’t (I should be trying to make real friends in addition to my virtual friends, anyone out there could be reading this, etc.), but that’s my blogging state of mind these days.

    But if I ever felt like my blog was harming our marriage, it would be over. Immediately.

  4. my husband wonders if he should be uneasy, visits my blog, and every time he realizes that I’ve just written the things we’ve already been talking about. He’s quite encouraging these days!

  5. Haha! I loved everyone’s comments! I’m always interested in why its always women that seem to blog and then what their husband’s response is to their blogging? I’m with Elizabeth though, as in blogging is a quick way to “hang out with the girls” or get another opinion. Also, I just like sharing my thoughts since they always just swirl around in my head in-congruently until I formulate them and put them down on paper. I secretly also have severe cases of writer’s block and my far-fetched hope is that by writing on this blog about other topics semi-frequently, maybe it will help me gain skills that will ultimately help me write my thesis with greater ease. We’ll see!
    And Rae, I totally agree with you about the tendency to destroy a marriage will manifest itself in one way or another, and blogging will just serve as the medium. Good point!

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