Take 7 (5)

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So, remember the other week when I posted about being so excited to have a complete family reunion this weekend?  Well, it will still be going on, just not with us.  The husband has been out of commission this whole week and I just found out this morning that its 99% chance its the swine flu (I hope you don’t get it Natalie!).  So with his super high fever we’re stuck at home and I’ll have to be a little more patient until I get to see my family again :(  Say a little pray for his recovery and for my health, can you?

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Although I’m bummed he has the swine flu (it looks pretty painful), I am a little happy that it has nothing to do with that maybe-undercooked salmon that I prepared for our anniversary or the fact that he was slaving away painting our living room all day Monday…

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I don’t really enjoy commenting on political things.  I think on the blog-o-sphere there can be a little too much “over-valuing of our opinion” (as Jen  discovered in #7) and particularly with political issues, its never about what we should do, but about smearing another person and what we shouldn’t do.  I find this lacks practicality and just makes people really angry and bitter.  As a means of communication, blogging can be useful, but it lacks any real way to engage in conversation and can sometimes stifle any potentially useful dialogue that may have happened because people get too offended.

[Then why blog about controversial stuff at all?  I talk about my faith because I guess I see that as a non-negotiable.  If I can’t be open about myself in a non-judgmental way, since it is such a big part of me, I see it as not being true to myself.  I always have a litmus test too, like “Would I talk about this with people? Then gee, I probably shouldn’t blog about it.”]

That being said, here’s my big caveat.  A lot of what I learned at my marriage conference would probably upset a lot of people, a lot of those people being my good friends.  That’s been part of my hesitance in writing about it even though I said I would (that, and I really have been super busy).  How do I value my opinion without ostracizing people?  What’s the most effective way to talk about these issues?

I should probably use a whole post for this, but as a slight tangent, there’s something about this that makes me a little upset.  Ok, more than a little.  Mostly because I think of all the people that voted for Obama thinking that “Oh, maybe he’s telling the truth when he says that he’s for marriage being between a man and a woman”.  I just don’t understand how he can continue to say one thing and still do everything that is completely against these beliefs.  For some reason this issue seems so much more underhanded than just saying you won’t raise taxes and then eventually raising them anyway.

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Since I already talked about this one with my husband, I think its safe to post about too :)  I found this “teen feminist blog” (please don’t judge me) and was perusing through the blogs for some of the issues that “teen feminists” would be concerned about and I found this entry in a “Dear Abby” format.  Check out this girl’s question:

I’m sure this has crossed many young feminists minds… How are we supposed to date men (specifically), when in the back of our minds we have that caution tape? We are so aware of the crimes men have caused to our gender, so aware of how men think and treat females, how can we possibly not only begin to perhaps tell them not only that we are feminists but to see if they are those sexist pricks we have been fighting for so long?

I find it so incredibly hard just to talk to other women who are completely ignorant about feminism and the idealogy of it, I don’t even want to try to pursue relationships anymore. I don’t know how to gently lay out my cause or even a sneakier way–how to test a guy. This may just be basic courting skills, but my mother never taught me how to test a guy for closeted sexism or male supremacy. I want to know if any of you younger feminists have a theory on how to address this and if it worked.

Is it bad that I laughed after reading this?  I think this is the biggest problem with “traditional” feminist ideology, what are you gonna do with all these men around you?

What would you say to this girl?

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I don’t know what to do with my free weekend.  Its been so long since I’ve had one.

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I went to my friend’s defense party this week (I was lame and couldn’t make the actual defense :( ) and I have to say, its inVIGORATING to know that people actually get out of this place with the title “Dr.”!  I need to keep going to those every so often just to help with the motivation.  That, and I enjoyed the free food :)

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Seattle is beautiful.  I could have stayed there a few more days.  Went to a wedding, the husband gave a great toast, did the Underground Tour, went to the original Starbucks, Pike’s Market, Space Needle, AND on our flight home we passed THISCLOSE to Mt. Rainer.  It was crazy.  The pilot said that never happens.

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What should we do next time?

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5 thoughts on “Take 7 (5)

  1. I totally agree about the political things. I think very few people blog well about them. You will never be able to never ostracize people who are bent on being ostracized. I think your concern is a valid one. I have several posts rumbling around in my head (most of the Coming Attractions in the sidebar at my blog) that are of the sensitive variety of which you speak. ;)

    I will just try to approach it with humor. One suggestion: if there are things you really want to talk about but think they are divisive, then let them marinate on your heart for a long time. Let your beliefs solidify even more. Live them. Let them become more of a reality than a new idea you’re excited about. Then you’ll be able to talk about it with compassion and conviction. KWIM?

    • I totally agree on the “marinate” advice. My problem is that unless I write down my brilliant thoughts, I tend to forget them and have nothing to write about! Living them is also a huge point, which I think I tend to try to focus more on.

      I’m still working at how to do this blogging thing…

  2. 1. I’m so sorry he has swine flu! I’ll pray you’re able to nurse him back to health quickly without catching it yourself!

    2. Hehe, I’m glad it wasn’t the salmon, too.

    3. I hate politics – the very thought of discussing them with another person gives me the willies. I do still post about “controversial” stuff sometimes, though I wouldn’t say I do it well :-P It is hard, especially when people take things personally (on both sides). One of the reasons I do it is because I’m an absolute pansy debating things face to face, and I like having the time to think about and articulate an answer. I’m hoping that doing this is practice and preparation for future in-person discussions. And the thing I try to remember and pray for is authentic Christian charity: love above all things – love that isn’t afraid to speak the truth. The second part of that is hard for me sometimes (thus the poor debating – I just want to be nice and have everyone get along!).
    And now I have gone on a tangent. I’ll just add a “seriously” to the Obama thing.
    Oh, and Dawn, great advice. Just so you know, I’ve noticed that coming attraction sidebar and have been looking forward to reading those future posts!

    4. Wow. I laughed too. I don’t know where I’d even start with this girl. Out of curiosity, what was “Abby’s” response?

  3. Eeek. Hope your hubby feels better soon and that you are miraculously immune :)

    What to say to that teen feminist…Maybe tell her that she’s interpreting the entire male gender in a very stereotyped and judgemental way without giving any of them the benefit of trusting that they’d value and love her without crushing her ‘power’? I have a feeling the conversation would be very frustrated on both our sides as I’d try to dispel her fear and she’d try to convince me I’m just a pawn in a man’s world. And I’d be out of my league. But it would be an interesting conversation, to be sure.

  4. *I just read all your posts over the course of a couple of nights at work. (Don’t worry: I’ve only been doing it in downtime, when my patients are sleeping. They’re right in front of me, anyway.) I feel as if I just went through a crash course in Alison. :)

    1) Is Mike any better yet? He should be fine. My bro & dad had it all last week, and they’re all better now. :)

    3) I’m a selfish writer, in that my main purpose in writing is to clear my head of thoughts and ideas. That being said, I try to be conscious about what I write and who may read it. I’ve found that as long as your readers know you’re coming from a place of love & writing about what makes you YOU, they’re open to at least hearing/reading what you have to say/write. And I won’t even comment on the Obama thing. You probably already know where I stand on all things Obama, anyway.

    4) Concerning the teen “feminist,” I’m tempted to school her in REAL feminism, go all Eve vs. Mary on her. I find, though, that the deal w/ those kinds of “feminists” is that they just don’t want to hear it, and as w/ any situation in which ppl have already made up their minds, they’re just talking/whining/complaining to make themselves feel valid. And so what I’d really do if I heard her ask this is laugh. Which is horrible, haha.

    5) When I have a free day, I sleep til 11, go to noon mass somewhere, grab lunch somewhere, go home & curl up in a blanket & watch tv online for the remainder of the day. If I’m feeling productive, I’ll go to the gym. :)

    *Reading your blog has pretty much cemented my desire to get back into blogging. I agree w/ you that it’s like the gym: when done regularly, it’s fantastic. Although, mine will probably be way more stream-of-conscious, since I’m such a selfish writer. :) I’m going to try to practice some emotional modesty, though.

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